I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
