Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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