I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
