zippers are such a cool invention
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
