I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
