My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
