No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
