He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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