Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
