i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
