You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
