She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
