How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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