if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
