she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
