I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
