this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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