I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
