they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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