YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
