I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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