Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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