You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
