Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
