That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
