Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
whose parrot is this?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
