okay pat passed out under dana's car
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
