He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
