Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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