lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
