google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
