what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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