Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
