used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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