If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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