Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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