does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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