apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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