I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this will be a night to untag.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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