Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
