Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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