Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
