you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
