My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
