I heard we made out
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just google imaged poop.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
