Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
be right there i have to get my cape
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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