If i come over, it means nothing
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize