Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
