Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
