shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
