Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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