Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
ok first of all what the fuck
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
