My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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