Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I could make wine with my vomit
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
