so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
