My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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