I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
