She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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