I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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