Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
